Balance

My life has always been about an imbalance between my social life and my academic life.
Make a new best friend. Get a bad grade on a report.
Do something fun. Fail an assignment.
My ability to become passionate in something is amazingly
dangerous
to my function as a human being.
I hate it whenever my life becomes derailed by uncertainty
and i especially hate it when my life is somewhere I can't figure out.
And in new york. I feel it especially.
I always feel that my life isn't where I want it to be.
But I aspire to be something that takes years to gain.

I guess why I'm venting so much is because of my state of mind today. February 26, 2009.
Today I woke up late, DIdn't shower. Didn't eat Breakfast. Didn't do a book report. All because of what?
To do something with friends? Nap?
I'm not leveling with my Design Seminar teacher for some retarded reasons. Maybe she's to vague
Maybe I'm to vague. Why did I get a bad grade on something when... IDK IDK anymore
I feel my edge slipping.
I knew after today. I had to do some soul searching.

I feel my looks slipping.
I don't go to the gym as often.
Grooming down the drain.

SOMETHING HAPPENED. SOMETHING CHANGED.
IDK what it is. But I just lost my will power.

God I feel just writing this helps already.

Everything in my life i in turmoil.
But I'm letting it victimize me.

On a side note.
I made a really good friend.
<3